Do you strike forward or strike back?

We have all had our moments when someone or something tries to strike us down.

Moments when we feel as though we have been rung through the ringer, kicked down and stomped on and those feelings of what next?

Life is real and those moments will come. As we know, it’s not what happens to us, it’s how we handle it.

There have been times, both personally and professionally when I have felt as though the world was coming to a crashing end. There have been times which I may not have handled the situation in the best possible manner either.

However, I remember specifically the time when I realized what I put out is exactly what I’m getting back. It was at that moment when statements like “Success is the best revenge” became my mantra. In addition, I recall specifically the moment when I was able to not only forgive others, forgive myself.

Those were the moments when the title of this article had more meaning than I ever realized.

Pain in one shape or form is going to happen in our lifetime. More than likely, it’ll happen more than once. Sometimes that pain involves something physical and sometimes the pain is mental, caused by another person.

I am a firm believer of not letting others control our emotions. Don’t give them the satisfaction. Easier said than done, I know. However, if you can learn how to be in charge of your own emotions, you will live in a more calm, serene and controlled (by you) world.

I’ve recently been hearing stories shared by others regarding client woes. As I’m listening to these conversations, I can feel the anxiety building up in the people telling the story. It has a true, hard affect on them. They are allowing their client to control them. They control their emotions, they control their well being.

I remember during the early days of my divorce, my relationship with my X was highly, highly strained. He was sure I was going to back myself into a corner and come crawling back. Well, that didn’t happen. What did happen is I got as ugly as he was. It was all I could think about, it was all I could talk about. The nastiness, the anger, the stupidity, the nerve. I could go on and on.

Then one day I was talking with the priest at my church and as he was picking tissue off my face from crying so much, he instructed me to go into the chapel and pray. Here I am a blubbering idiot awaiting my penance. What he told me though, not only turned me around, it turned around my life.

He didn’t instruct me to say the 20 hail Mary’s or the 10 our fathers. He instructed me to take my time and pray for ME. He wanted me to “forgive myself”.

You can imagine I was a bit shocked. However, that piece of advice was the best thing that had happened in my life…..and I am forever grateful.

At the moment I did forgive myself, I realized I needed to stop striking back. I needed to strike forward and that’s exactly what I did. At that moment my life changed forever.

I share this because I see and hear so much anger in people. Angry over their clients actions, anger over comments being made on a post on social media. Angry-Angry-Angry. It’s heartbreaking.

If this is you…what can you do? Firstly, you have to remember it isn’t easy. And, I get that. However, if you want peace bad enough learning how to handle your own emotions and not trying to control someone else’s is your only answer.


  • Be grateful. Be grateful for where you are today. Good or bad. Each step of our lives is a learning experience.
  • Find peace in your mind. When you find yourself getting angry or even thinking angry thoughts, go to a happy place. Visualizing works yet if you can’t do that….find peace in your words. For me, I just begin saying a prayer. It’s crazy how it works. Maybe it’s because it takes my mind off what I’m angry about.
  • Don’t try to change what you can’t control. Other peoples emotions or actions are out of your control.
  • Stop complaining. Think only happy thoughts.

The reality is, we have a choice. We can be happy or sad. We can be negative or positive. We can be nasty or nice. It’s all a choice.

Striking back is painful. It’s also exhausting and it brings negative energy.

Learn how to strike forward. Your world and the world of people around you will become a much happier place.

CJ Murray, President Centre For Beauty

6 thoughts on “Do you strike forward or strike back?”

    1. Gosh Shanna, thank you and I hope it was timely in a positive way. I have always said these timely “things” which happen in our life are just reminders that we are on the right path. Hugs my friend and thank you for reading my blog and taking the time to respond.

  1. This article is so beautiful, we all need to read it. In today’s crazy world we need to remember this lines that you have written. We need to learn how to follow through with your advice and learned how to love ourselves first. Put our mental thoughts and emotions first and let all the negative feelings pass us by. Try to pray for peace in our hearts and minds. Thank you for your valuable advice 🙏 ❤️❤️

    1. Thank you Millie. This article has a lot of meaning to me. Both because of what I have gone through and what I just recently experienced. I’ve always been a believer of being in the right place with the right people at the right time. I’ve believed the universe has a plan and I do believe there is a reason for everything. I wish I could go through the whole story because it is just truly amazing. Maybe another time. Again thank you. I appreciate you taking your time to read my blog and respond.

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