Many of you know the health scare my family has had with my Dad over the past couple of years. You've prayed for us, you've sent words of encouragement and you continue to inquire of his well being. I thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

What you probably don't know is how my Brother's and Sister's and I have been preparing my parents to move out of their house which they have been in for 41 years. We aren't forcing them, they know they need to move to a smaller place. You can imagine however, the accumulation of "stuff" they have collected in this 41 years.

Imagine also, they come from a generation who doesn't throw things away.....and buy new. They come from a generation of fixer uppers. A generation where you don't waste a thing and you need to keep everything because.....who knows when you might need it again sometime. Anything from a chair to nut's and blots......literally!

In this process which we started in October of 2018 much has been learned. We learned what 2 people with 7 children can collect over a period of 68 years. (yes 68 years marriage and yes 7 children). (20 Grandchildren and 22 great-grandchildren). We also learned how the memory of these "things" can be very emotional. We learned everyone has their own reason for what they save and what they have no problem giving or throwing away.

We learn.....there are many lessons that weren't necessarily "taught"

68 years ago

Mom Dad wedding

With 7 siblings getting ready to attack this huge undertaking, someone has to be the General.  I didn't plan to be, but somehow I ended up with position.

I run my own Business.  It seemed all very simple to me.

  • You get everyone on the same page
  • You make sure every knows where the message is coming from
  • You establish goals
  • You come up with a plan
  • You put your plan into action

Simple?  No, not really.

The first thing you learn, is not everyone works the same way you do. Not everyone follows a plan.  It doesn't matter how much or how well it is calculated. Bottom line, not everyone works the same way. That's not a bad thing, you just have to figure it out.

This is a big message for all of us to hear. When you bring a mix of personalities into your Salon, not everyone will work the same way.

As owners of managers, we have to set guidelines and build barriers that shouldn't be crossed. We have to find what works for each personality...IF....we want to get the most out of each person.

The other lesson learned is, although deadlines are created and plans have been made, this means nothing if the "powers to be" aren't motivated.

Grant it, maybe I was a bit zealous considering all involved. However, when we started this project in the Fall of 2018, I saw no problem with getting the house cleaned out along with minor repairs and curb appeal done to be able to spend one last Christmas in the house and have it on the market in January of 2019.

Well, the problem is.....my parents couldn't get motivated. In short, it was just too overwhelming for them and "in fairness" it was shortly after that, my Dad was diagnosed with Cancer.

Consequently, those in our family who are followers...followed their lead and couldn't get their motivation going either.  This doesn't make them bad but the lesson here is there are many people who motivate by example.

The lesson for our Salons is as Salon owners or Management, it is our job to constantly motivate our staff but even more so, keep ourselves motivated.

 

7 Siblings

Family picture

During this whole family crisis, there is a bigger lesson to be learned. It's a lesson of which I realized, defines who I am today. It's a lesson unfortunately, missed in our newest generations and it makes me wonder...."what will the Salon Business be like in 20-50 years from now"

When my Dad had his recent surgery because his cancer had re-occured, my sister and I took some time away from the hospital to "attack" their house.

We took 60 boxes of "yard sale stuff" to donation centers. We fixed their ice maker, we cleaned up the entire family room, discovering there were 5 pieces of furniture Mom was willing to let go and we installed a kitchen faucet.

As we were doing this we were noticing many things which I'll call "ingenious".  However, there was a time in our lives, we didn't.  These were things that our Dad has repaired.

  • He needed a hook, so he devised one out of a coat hanger
  • He needed a waste basket, so he made one out of 4 x 4's
  • He needed a new knob, he used one from a different component
  • He made a table out of wood which clipped to his side table where he sits, so he could play on his tablet
  • He made a holder out of coat hangers for his pool brush

The list goes on and on.

As my sister and I were talking, we laughed.

  • As a kid, we never really noticed these "homemade" projects
  • As a young adult, we criticize.  C'mon Dad, a new hook will only cost you $1.00
  • As we enter into Adult hood, we just accept it
  • And now....as we get older, we realize how ingenious he is

In talking with my husband about how my sister and I put in a faucet, is what sparked this article.

My Dad didn't take us both under a sink and show us step by step how to install a new faucet. He showed us by example.

Our entire lives, he repaired things on his own. He didn't immediately throw away and buy new. He thought of ways to make what was broken, work again.

If you live your entire life with this example......you just become.

The lesson for our Salon owners and management is "You are the trainer" in every aspect of your Salon life. Your team is quietly learning from you every move....whether they or you know it or not.

I see it! With the Salons I visit on a daily basis, I see respect or lack thereof. I see professionalism or lack thereof. I see joy or lack thereof. All based on the leadership team.

I think for me, going through this process over the past few months....I've realized, I am my Father's daughter. I realized so many things in my life that I do, I do because I saw. I understand now to appreciate the "why's" and not focus so much on the "should"s".

To be a leader, one must set by example. To be a leader, one must recognize the good in their team and not so much their faults. To be a leader, attitude is everything.

My Dad's attitude through this whole ordeal has always been one of optimism. He never once portrayed anything different. Even if he was feeling it. He's an inspiration for sure and for me.....he continues to lead our amazing family by example.....even at 90 years old.

Look deep into the atmosphere of your Salon. You, your team, your clients. Are they all in a good spot? If not, look deep into yourself as their leader. Inside ourselves is always a good place to start.

My Dad is doing incredible BTW.  He's 90 years old in good spirits, great health (considering) and surrounded by lot's of family, lot's of love and lot's of prayer.

CJ Murray, President